We are 3 generations of women in my family now that have experienced abusive relationships. My mother lived as a young woman in the depression era; the motto for women in those days and the fifties was “get married, have children, be a housewife.” So she did, but after her first two children she was widowed. So she found someone to remarry; he abused her and her children. He was also gay, and tried to hide it by being married to her. He was an alcoholic, abusive, and would disappear for weeks, leaving her with nothing. With no family to turn to, she tried to get by, but had 3 nervous breakdowns in the process, and almost lost her children while in the hospital as they had been placed in foster homes, but one of them was almost adopted out. Another christian couple that she knew helped her to regain custody of him. Both of the first two kids were physically and sexually abused by him. She had two more children with him before it ended, and she was able to get a divorce. Years later, she met my father, a good man who took on 4 children as his own, and also had me. But, unfortunately, he also died when I was ten, and again she was on her own, with 2 children, myself and my sister to support and raise.
So I have a daughter; she was married and had one son. Her husband physically and sexually abused her. He gained custody of their son with an expensive lawyer that his grandma payed for. My daughter tells me that he still subjects my grandson to pornography in his house.
And then there’s me; I started a second marriage because I wanted more children; had 3 more. Then my husband became abusive, to the kids and myself. I kept thinking it would get better, but it didn’t. I finally got the courage to leave him with the help of my daughter and moved away to start a new life; but now the system has failed me like nothing ever happened. And I am really tired. It’s just like when I was in it; I kept thinking it would be the last time and then he would do something again. And now every time the kids go for visitations that the court allows, he does something more. And I try to report it to agencies, DHS, and the kids counselor, but nothing gets done. And what really irks me is all the money in the form of grants that is being given to crisis centers and legal institutions that don’t do shit to help once they get the money; there is no quality assurance or watchdog to keep them honest. So, now I have 3 kids to finish raising, and my daughter has 3 children to raise and protect. But nobody listens. Not even the churches here. Went to one church for over six months, a mega church, and only met two people. Found another one; the pastor promises that the female counselor from the church will call me, but she never does. And I keep praying for answers and direction of what God wants me to do, because the only thing I know right now is the Lord Jesus Christ cares, otherwise I wouldn’t be here today for his purpose, still livin and breathin.