If I had not been called by the Lord, I might still be in it. I might be dead. But by the grace of God he saved my life, and saved my spirit. I am still recovering, and try to take each day and live it with joy. I can’t tell my whole story yet because it could be detrimental to pending legal proceedings; I am going through divorce-he is divorcing me. That’s okay, I don’t want to be with him. I pray for him, it’s part of learning to forgive. My sin, which is pure selfishness, is what got me into this mess in the first place. I think now that it is easier to forgive him than myself. I was so blind and in tremendous denial, which is what allowed all this to happen. No one deserves to be abused; but, I didn’t have on my armor of the holy spirit and was vulnerable to the abuse. I was independant, and most of all, I did not have a personal relationship with the Lord as I do now. I didn’t know what that meant. I was baptized as a child and very active in the church; but they did not teach personal relationships with Jesus. As I got older I drifted away from church as a result of participation in Freemasonry, which teaches that good works are the way to salvation and they DO worship Lucifer covertly. But that’s a whole other subject. I now know that there is no way to earn salvation, and without Jesus Christ in my life, actively, participating in all my words and actions, I am either dead or the living dead. Things that have helped me the most are daily prayer, sometimes constantly; having others help me to pray; learning from Joyce Meyers; Jon Courson, David Rosales, reading commentaries about the book of Job and how no one understood his pain. I have been seeking a new home church because we were going to a large Mega Church and hardly any opportunities to fellowship. I recently learned that fellowship means communication and sharing. I liked the church I was at because the bible was taught verse by verse, but I can do that online. I can say that I have read most of the bible, but have not lived it and am trying now to be a blessing to others.
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